I don’t believe in God.

I don’t expect this to be a shocking revelation. There are many people who have selected “Atheist” from the drop-down menu on their Facebook profile editor. I don’t really like talking about it, but I think it makes a relevant lead for this entry.

As far back as I can remember, people have always done more for me than some man/woman/whatever in the sky. And perhaps you have found a guiding force or comfort in some variation of deity, and that’s fine. I mean, hey, who am I to rain on your parade? But in my own experience, it got a whole lot better once I started allowing myself to depend solely on people. I’m not going to say they’ve never let me down, but they’ve come through for me a hell of a lot more often than faith ever did.

Lately I’ve realized that zombie movies offer a decent parallel for my personal beliefs. They almost always illustrate the power of humans over unstoppable forces. There’s no time to sit and wait for divine intervention when you’re surrounded by decaying, oozing, impulse-driven monsters. All that’s left to do is trust your gut and try and join forces with anyone else you can find. You might not have won by the time the credits start rolling, but you’ll have gotten pretty far.

That’s not to say I’d fare well in the event of a zombie apocalypse. I’ve pretty much accepted that I will be one of the first ones to go. My editorial career path has supplied me with absolutely zero end-of-the-world survival skills, and I have abnormally poor vision for someone my age. What if the apocalypse comes while I’m wearing my contacts? Those will make a terrific petri dish for  infectious diseases after marinating in my eye juices for a few days. Or worse, what if it comes while I’m sleeping? Even if I have time to grab my glasses I really doubt they’d make it through my first run-for-your-life situation. Significantly compromised eyesight combined with my irrational love of cute animals will amount to swift death for me. “Is that a kitty? OHSHITNOIT’SAZOMBIE” graggghhhhkkkgggg. Done.

I’m also not saying that faith in your fellow man will lead you to any better place than a utopian afterlife. Very few apocalypse scenarios end with the survivors sharing fresh food around a campfire and starting anew. I’m just saying it makes more sense that surrendering your own sense to some ambiguous force that hasn’t done anything for you that you or other people haven’t ultimately brought to fruition, during a crisis or your day-to-day life. Frank Turner nails it on the last track of his latest album:

If we accept that there’s an endgame and we haven’t got much time

Then in the here and now we can try and do things right

We’d be our own Salvation Army and together we’d believe

in all the wondrous things that mere mortals can achieve…

Zombie movies have taught me that if we’re going to put all our trust in something, it’s better invested in ourselves or the person standing next to us. That way, when we run headfirst into some kind of horrific situation (as we all eventually will in life), there’s at least a sliver of hope for some bright spots in our dim future. Shutting your eyes tight and talking to someone that never answers is only going to make you go crazy faster.

Take, for instance, the storyline in Episode 4, Season 1 of The Walking Dead: “Vatos”. Rick (whom I always want to call Frank, because I am confusing him with Frank “Grimey” Grimes), Darryl, T-Dog, and Glenn venture back into Atlanta to find Darryl’s brother, Merle, and retrieve the bag of guns and ammo Rick dropped in his haste to escape a horde of walkers. After finding that Merle is gone, Glenn goes down to the street to grab the guns, but runs afoul of a group of Latino men who have laid claim to the stash. They take Glenn hostage and retreat back to a deserted building with a walled-off atrium. Rick attempts to strike a deal with them for Glenn and the guns, but the men won’t agree to his terms. Just as guns are drawn, an elderly woman emerges and makes her way through the impending melee to Felipe, one of the gang’s leaders.

“He needs his medicine,” she says in a thick accent.

Guillermo and Felipe call a halt to things, and we follow them into the building. It’s a nursing home, and the men have been caring for a group of elderly residents that were left behind in the evacuation of Atlanta.

When I first saw this episode last year, I was so thankful to finally see a well-rounded representation of Latinos on TV. Sometimes I despair at how Mexicans are portrayed in the media.  I don’t claim to be all that Mexican — I’m biologically only half-Mexican, and I was not raised with much influence from the culture, but seemingly every Taco Bell commercial nonetheless makes me bury my face in shame. When it’s revealed that they’ve been caring for the seniors left behind in a local nursing home, it’s clear someone on staff did their research, or more likely simply knew from experience. One of the most binding facets of Mexican-American cultures is family, and like a lot of other cultures, there is an ingrained sense of respect for grandparents and the elderly. It’s more likely for Latino families to let their infirm relatives live with them instead of sending them to a nursing home. George Lopez even brings it up in one of his earlier stand-up specials: “That’s just not what we do.”

And sure, they’re all tattooed, posturing, fly-off-the-handle thug types, which some may consider a crude stereotype, but what culture doesn’t have a tough-guy stigma attached to it? Italian, Russian, Asian, Irish, — all of them have unsavory angry-guy caricatures that have been represented in media at one time or another. What I’m so impressed with is that the vatos in this episode are given so much dimension. Felipe drops his weapon at the behest of his abuela and tenderly delivers the inhaler to the patient, coaching him in a soothing voice. Squaring off with Rick, T-Dog and Merle, Guillermo claims there are dogs inside that he “picked up from Satan at a yard sale”, tearing Glenn to shreds. They’re purse dogs, settled in a cozy bed.

Guillermo later has a heart-to-heart with Rick in the kitchen.

“They just left them to die,” he says with a long stare, then talks about plans to get the residents out of the city and to a safer place. It appears to me that he knows it’s a lost cause, that all of it is a lost cause, but what else can he do? Something’s going to get them all eventually, be it virus, mortal wound, starvation, or just plain old age, just as something’s going to get us all eventually. All he and his crew can do is make life a little more comfortable for those who can’t defend themselves.

And, oh yes, without faith and the corresponding belief in an afterlife, I am terrified of death. I get panic attacks about it sometimes. But when I’m not panicking, I’m still here on Earth. And while I’m here, there’s absolutely nothing else I can do except make myself and others happy. And no matter what gets me in the end, I intend to do that until it comes for me.

And who knows? Maybe one day I’ll change my mind and turn to religion if people ever let me down. I’ve never had faith, but I will always have hope.

It was this episode. You know, the one where Freddy Rumsen pees himself.

And after being fired, he spends a night out with Don and Roger, as pictured above. When the night ends and they say their goodbyes, he tells the cabbie, “152 Riverside Drive.”

And I thought, hey…

In about 45 years, he and Liz Lemon will be neighbors.

(And yes, this spurred a startling realization about how much brainspace I devote to things like the addresses of fictional characters. Which should not have been all that startling, because this happens a lot.)

All of them make me instantly happy.

These are the only two I could dig up online, but there’s at least one more TV version and a radio one.

I kind of wish these were real songs, then I wouldn’t have to feel so guilty about liking them to the degree that I do.

A lot of people on the internet have been wondering who is repsonsible for this bouncy little nugget, and a lot of guesses posited people from punk rock (Dropkick Murphys, Cock Sparrer: surprising guesses at first, but not so much on a second listen. ..by the way, have I mentioned I’m a music writer by trade?). The only answer I could find was the name David Muhlenfeld, a seasoned ad man who came up with all the freecreditreport.com jingles.  I like these a lot better. I think this guy needs to cut an album; he obviously has some talent lurking inside of him. Talent that, in my professional opinion, might thrive on the indie scene. He’d have a great breaking-free-of-the-suit-and-tie story that I know all the hipsters would adore.

Or, better idea: wouldn’t someone like him make a great new character (and ensuing plotline) for season 6 of Mad Men?

Shit, now I can’t get the Free Credit Report song out of my head…

So, I realize that it’s been a while since any work has been done by myself over here. I apologize for this delay and promise to be more active on here. I’ve got a review/in memoriam coming up for a recently cancelled show that I hope you’ll tune in for. I also will be doing a review on the WWE Hall of Fame ceremony and Wrestlemania 27 in the next few weeks.

 Lastly, I realize that if there’s anything I haven’t done on here, I never announced the final Cappy recipients for the 2010 Captain’s Choice Awards.

Here are the winners: 

Talk/Variety Program of the Year – The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien (NBC)

Honorable Mentions – Attack of the Show (G4), Saturday Night Live (NBC), Ninja Warrior (G4), Conan (TBS)

Youth Programming of the Year – Wizards of Waverly Place (Disney Channel)

Honorable Mentions – Camp Rock 2 (Disney Channel), Hannah Montana Forever (Disney Channel), Star Wars: The Clone Wars (Cartoon Network), Phinneas and Ferb (Disney Channel)

Special of the Year – “Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas”, Community (NBC)

Honorable Mentions – WWE Hall of Fame Ceremony (USA), Wartorn (HBO), Camp Rock 2 (Disney Channel), 2010 Winter Olympics Opening Ceremony (NBC)

And lastly…
Series of the Year – The Walking Dead (AMC)

Honorable Mentions – Community (NBC), Dexter (Showtime), The Pacific (HBO), Wizards of Waverly Place (Disney Channel)

Well there it is; the final list of the 2010 Cappys. Again, thank you for your patience with this list. I apologize that I don’t have a write-up on the winners like I did for the other categories but I’m doing some whip-crackin’ on several other projects. The nominees for this years Captain’s Choice Awards will be announced in early December and the winners will be announced in January of next year. We at Brainrotting look forward to posting more reviews on your favorite shows. Leave us a comment with your thoughts and maybe even suggest a show for us to review. (Hey, we’re bloggers — did you really expect us to come up with our own ideas?)

Just comin’ round to make a quick update.

I am watching a really good documentary on Johnny Cash’s Folsom Prison performance on Ovation right now. If you’re a fan, this gets a big ol’ recommendation from me. It’s not your straight-up rock doc — in fact, there’s no concert footage at all. It’s more about the time and place and where his performance and the album stands in the grand scheme of musical things.

What’s I’m really liking about this thing is that the missing performance footage is swapped out for some really cool animated sequences like this one. I actually ran across this video several months ago somewhere on the internet, and as I just found out, it originates from this documentary. If this doesn’t get you to watch it, well…don’t know what else I can do.

Anyway, catch it if you can. This is the premiere on this channel, so I’m sure they’ll be rerunning it like crazy for a week or so.

Before I begin any of this, let me say the following: I understand that professional wrestling is scripted. The matches are predetermined, as are the outcomes. However, I still believe the in-ring performers are still some of the finest men and women in entertainment; putting their bodies and lives on the line every night for the entertainment of millions. While the titles have less competitive value than the Kentucky Derby wreath, there is no denying that fine performers deserve Hall of Fame inductions as recognition for their performances, no matter which hall they’re going to. Thank you.

(Ahem.)

There are many professional wrestling fans who will tell you that the “Road to Wrestlemania” begins at The Royal Rumble. Traditionally, I would have to agree with them. However, I strongly believe that the true road begins with the announcement of the first inductee to the WWE Hall of Fame. Last night, I embarked on that journey as Shawn Michaels was named to the HOF 2011 class. World Wrestling Entertainment has gone on as an underrated powerhouse of video and television production and over the past few years,; no compilations of theirs have been better than the Hall of Fame packages.

As the night began, hosts and commentators Michael Cole and Jerry “The King” Lawler promised that the Hall of Fame announcement would regard one of the greatest men to ever compete in the WWE ,and one of its singularly greatest performers. Initially, my thoughts went to Dwayne Johnson. I also considered some legends from the 1980s like “Macho Man” Randy Savage and The Ultimate Warrior, despite their hazy standing with WWE. As the show moved on into its second hour, Lawler had the honor of introducing the Hall of Fame package.

When WWE ring announcer said “…from San Antonio, Texas”, I was immediately taken back to the afternoon ofApril 5th, 2009. I had invited several of my friends over to watch Wrestlemania 25. The earlier matches drew minor attention from myself and a few others in the room but all that changed when it came time for the Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker match. To drag out a cliche from a drawer of overused statements, the tension could have been cut with a knife. Michaels and The Undertaker put on what was unquestionably the match of the night. The combination of near-falls and heart-stopping stunts had everyone on the edge of their seat. Jump ahead one year later, and we have a rematch between Michaels and ‘Taker; a fight that managed to out-bill both the Heavyweight and World Title matches for the honor of being he main event at Wrestlemania 26. This would be the final match of “The Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels’ career, as the stipulations declared he would retire should he lose the match. The outcome was indeed heartbreaking as HBK would say goodbye to the crowd and kiss his wife who was seated in the front row. My good friend and host of The Best Damn Nerd Show, James Kincaid, was unreachable and inconsolable as his boyhood hero was retired.

Last night’s induction package chronicled The Showstopper’s career from a scraggly Texas boy with a bowl haircut through his teaming with Marty Jannetty to his famous rivalries with Bret Hart, Ric Flair, and finally The Undertaker. Michaels is shown embracing his fans heavily as the footage begins, which made me wonder if perhaps the fans were embracing him moreso. D-Generation X, the wrestling stable which skyrocketed Michaels’ popularity, while also building the career of future Hall-of-Famer Triple H, earned a fair amount of note in the package but only as a build-up to the clips that truly cemented his place in wrestling history.

The zipline entrance from the rafters of Arrowhead Pond in Anaheim could be considered the very moment Shawn Michaels became Mr. Wrestlemania. From the 100-foot thrill ride to career-ending tombstone piledriver at the hands of The Undertaker, Michaels would wow fans non-stop for 14 years, excluding a four year hiatus after injuring his back. The video ends beautifully with a voiceover from WWE CEO and President Vince McMahon. “The boyhood dream has come true for Shawn Michaels.”

In my opinion, while not my favorite wrestler, there is no denying that Shawn Michaels is one of the single greatest entertainers of all time and the most deserving first ballot Hall of Fame entrant. Congratulations from all of us (edit: some of us. – Jody) at Brainrotting to The Showstopper, The Main Event, The Headliner, The Legend, The Icon, The Heartbreak Kid, Mr. Wrestlemania himself, Shawn Michaels.

The annual Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony traditionally takes place the night before Wrestlemania and this year falls on April 2nd. Brainrotting will report on the ceremony and follow the induction announcements as they occur.

This post is brought to you by a dream I had last night. Last night I dreamt that The Captain and I were hosting Attack of the Show for the day. We seemed to know what we were doing, and I seemed to be completely and totally un-stressed-out about the fact that I was about to be on camera. That’s how I know it was a dream: I have been assigned on-camera work before, and I am pretty awful on camera. If I had to think of a word to describe what I am like when there’s a camera in my face flashing that threatening red “record” light at me, it would be whatever the opposite of composed is.

Anyway, we were shown the ropes by host Kevin Pereira and former host Olivia Munn. And right before we went live, I suddenly had to pee. Even though it was established early in the dream that we had not one, not two, but three private bathrooms to choose from, there were suddenly very long lines in all of them (I know, I know. Girls, right?). I missed the first 30 minutes of the show waiting in line for the bathroom, leaving Daniel to improv it by himself. He was sooooo mad at me.

But Kevin, on the other hand, was very, very nice. Very nice and reassuring and…friendly.

Olivia was there too, but she didn’t talk to me much, which was probably for the best. I can only handle Olivia for about two minutes before I go “OK, OK, I get it. You’re a sexy girl with a potty mouth. This joke was over two minutes ago. Can we move on, please?” I know a lot of people think she’s a scream, but, I don’t know, it’s not really my style of humor, I guess.

I can hear, as I write this, a chorus of dudes muttering, “Pssh, whatever! You’re just jealous ’cause she’s hot.” And yes, I will admit that she’s hot. Duh. I mean, I have eyes, don’t I? I can see that she’s super-mega-blow-your-mind gorgeous. But the thing is…well…I’m pretty hot too.

Anyway.

I’m partial to pretty much all the male hosts on G4, and maybe one day I’ll devote a TH4TV to each of them. But today, in honor of how nice he was to me in my dream, I must pay tribute to Kevin Pereira and that jaw. My god, that manly, lean, strong  jaw. I wanna run my tongue along the edge of it every time I see it.

(without the stubble, preferrably.)

I mean, um, I want to do things to it that are appropriate to do in public, like just stare at it and admire it and ask to touch it and then go giggle girlishly in a corner with a friend about it.

SO!

In conclusion:

Kevin = hot

Jody = hot

Olivia = hot but annoying.

I think the evidence is insurmountable here, Mr. Pereira. I’m hot. You’re hot. Let’s make this happen.

Edit: Oh, what? Wikipedia reports he is a Bay native. Hey, Kevin, next time you’re in town, shoot me an e-mail. And, you know, whatever happens, happens.

Writing of the Year: Series - The Walking Dead (Charlie Adlard, Frank Darabont, Robert Kirkman, Tony Moore)
My first review on this website was for AMC’s The Walking Dead. The 6 episode season was received with critical acclaim and taken in with open arms by its fans. The Kirkman/Moore books were brought to life (no pun intended) by Shawshank Redemption director Frank Darabont and Charlie Adlard on Halloween night of this year. The first episode was a beautiful redesign of the books and matched the story panel for panel. However, the writers kept things fresh by deviating from the canon and building the story around characters less focused on by The Walking Dead’s author. Kirkman intended the books to be the story of Rick Grimes and not the zombies. Darabont has succeeded in retelling this story while also building interest in the other survivors. Congratulations to this team for earning the first Cappy for series writing.

Honorable Mentions: Wizards of Waverly Place (Todd J. Greenwald, et. al.), Dexter (James Manos Jr. and Jeff Lindsay), Boardwalk Empire (Terence Winter, et. al.), Community (Dan Harmon, et. al.)

Writing of the Year: Episode – The Walking Dead: Days Gone Bye (pilot) (Charlie Adlard, Frank Darabont, Robert Kirkman, Tony Moore)
The build-up for the premiere episode of The Walking Dead was not done in vain by AMC. In fact, for both those who had and had not read the books, the nail-biting story and tale of human survival and struggle was presented in full force. The beautiful retelling of the first few issues of the Kirkman horror series was not stale for those who’d already read the comics, and at the same time there was nothing needed for those who were unaware that this was even a book. The pilot’s abrupt ending as Rick Grimes is surrounded by undead ghouls left me begging for more. The writers’ ability to keep the opener honest to the story while deviating where needed has earned the pilot episode of The Walking Dead the first Writing of the Year award for an episode.

Honorable Mentions: Community – Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas (Dino Stamatopoulos and Dan Harmon), Boardwalk Empire – Boardwalk Empire (pilot)  (Terence Winter), Glee – Never Been Kissed (Ryan Murphy, Brad Falchuk, and Ian Brennan), 30 Rock – I Do Do (Tina Fey)

We have more awards on the way, including the award for Best Youth Programming which will be announced tomorrow at 10:30 PM

And our winners are…

Best Overall Character of the Year
Male Character of the Year – Abed Nadir (Danny Pudi), Community
In naming the inaugural Male Character of the Year, I looked for someone who didn’t just garner ratings due to their exuberant good looks or their ability to rain hell on a horde of flesh-eating ghouls. I instead decided to honor a character based on the social impact he made in representing an individual with an oft-misunderstood condition. Within the first five minutes of the Community pilot episode, we notice that there’s something different about the hyperactive Abed Nadir. By the end of the premiere, we learn that Abed is living with Asperger’s Syndrome, a form of autism. However, Abed is not portrayed as weak or inferior to his classmates. It’s a non-issue in most episodes — viewers that weren’t there to hear it discussed early on in the show might not even know his character has it.

Abed’s Asperger’s often manifests itself in the form of movie references, which is a fun treat for fans of cultural humor. But among all of his movie quotes, it was a quote about his movie quotes that stuck out the most to me: “I don’t need movies to communicate anymore. I used to only use it to help everyday things make sense to me.” Abed’s awareness of his condition is brought to life once again in the holiday episode, “Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas”. His search for the true meaning of Christmas manifests in his visualizing the physical world in the form of a Rankin-Bass cartoon. Abed’s perfect suspension of disbelief and unprovoked self-confidence have earned him the first Brainrotting Male Character of the Year and Best Overall Character of the Year.

Honorable Mentions: Dexter Morgan on Dexter, Rick Grimes on The Walking Dead, Jack Donaghy on 30 Rock, C.M. Punk on WWE Smackdown.

Female Character of the Year – Lumen Ann Pierce (Julia Stiles), Dexter
There’s been a shortage of strong leading women on television in the past year, but Lumen Ann Pierce is a good start. Lumen Ann Pierce is the sole survivor of a brutal string of serial murders. She begins her run timidly afraid of her former captors. Then she meets Dexter Morgan (Michael C. Hall), a police forensics technician and murderous vigilante who offers her freedom from her psychological torture. Lumen, however, takes this offer one step beyond by engaging in Dexter’s sociopathic methods. Her evolution from shattered victim to vengeful antihero is capped off, not by the successful murder of two of her former assailants, but of her knowing when to say when. By calling it quits, Lumen exhibits her moral strength; a trait necessary of all heroes. It is this moral strength that has earned Lumen Ann Pierce the inaugural Cappy for Female Character of the Year.

Honorable Mentions: Liz Lemon on 30 Rock, Margaret Schroeder on Boardwalk Empire, Alex Russo on Wizards of Waverly Place, Natalya Neidhart on WWE Monday Night Raw

Host of the Year – Conan O’Brien, The Tonight Show
Controversy creates ratings. However, in the case of Conan O’Brien, controversy can aid your already high ratings. In 2009, Conan O’Brien became the fifth host of The Tonight Show – the longest-running entertainment program in the U.S. Conan’s run as the host of The Tonight Show brought a new, youthful style of comedy to the late-night format while still respecting and preserving the classic styles of Carson and Allen. It was this combination that made him a superb choice for Jay Leno’s replacement on NBC’s flagship program. Unfortunately, O’Brien’s reign as the new leader of NBC late night would end on January, 22^nd an abrupt end that caused his stay to last only seven months. After 21 years with NBC, Conan would leave the company not bitter and angry, but thankful for the opportunities presented to him. “If you work hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen,” he said on his final Tonight show. O’Brien’s kindness and hard work would pay off in the beginning of November of this year when he signed with TBS to host Conan. In my opinion, this Harvard grad is truly the smartest man in late night programming, and it is my honor to name him the inaugural winner of the Brain Rotting Host of the Year.

Honorable Mentions: Oprah Winfrey on Oprah, Chris Hardwick on Web Soup, Anne Hathaway on Saturday Night Live, Steve Martin & Alec Baldwin on the 82^nd Annual Academy Awards

We’ll be right back after a few words from our Slanket-wrapped sponsors.

The Captain, as usual, has been working his very cute butt off looking for work, and is this close to landing a job with a very big, very powerful company that you’ve no doubt heard of and have probably spent more money on than you realize. But anyway, we’re sorry we’re not around as much, and we’ll try to crack the whip on ourselves in the coming year.

I thought I should put at least some sort of wrap-up entry before 2010 came to a close, so here are my picks for what to watch in 2011…

Lights Out, Jan. 11 on FX I am basing this solely off of the commercial they keep running for it. I don’t really care about sports, and I don’t really have any idea what this show is about, other than boxing. But something about this looks promising. It appealed to me, I guess, the same way the “On the next episode of Mad Men” trailers would. They would be composed of a collection of clips of characters saying things that were completely meaningless out of context — Don: “What?” Sterling: “That can’t be right.” Betty: “What did you do?!” Campbell: “He can’t find out about this.” — and yet I wanted to watch the next episode right then and there and absolutely could not wait. This one looks good; I will report back with a review.

Southland (season 3), January 4, TNT People! Watch this show! And not just because that dude from The O.C. looks very, very good in a uniform. I love my cop/doctor/figure-it-out kind of shows, and if you do too, you really need to be watching Southland. I will admit it’s a little tough to follow; it moves fast. But it always gets the adrenaline pumping and I’ve been waiting months to get back into the (very fast) swing of things.

I Used to be Fat, Dec. 29 on MTV  This one’s a gamble. It could end up being a glossy account of extreme weight loss that barely begins to scratch the surface of all of the hard work, disappointments, second-guessing and self-blame that comes along with it, or it could end up being a superficial, “I used to be fat and nobody liked me, but now I’m skinny and OMG, I’m the prom queen!” Cinderella story. Or it could be incredibly meaningful and true-to-life. As someone who has been through serious weight loss, twice, I’m curious to see how it turns out.

(There was supposed to be a video here but MTV.com makes it very difficult to embed them. Just click this and watch the trailer.)

This most recent round of weight loss saw me kicking a full 50 pounds, and I work DAMN hard every day of my life to make sure it doesn’t come back. I am so happy to see that real, actual, weight loss that isn’t a game show is being represented in a warts-and-all way on a channel that is aimed at young people. If you’ll permit me to drag out the ol’ soapbox, I’ve been feeling lately that this country is getting just a little too comfortable in its role as the fattest, greasiest, unhealthiest country on the planet. It is the truth that we’re a nation of high cholesterol and clogged arteries, but that doesn’t mean we have to settle for that label. I’m starting to feel like, while there is this huge push to get kids to make healthy choices, many adults aren’t really doing anything to help themselves break out of that role. While I fully support being who you are and being comfortable in your own skin, no matter what you look like, I also support health and well-being. I am always secretly disappointed when I hear of friends of mine taking pride in eating things like this and being straight-up defiant about their love, nay, need for bacon. Come on, you guys. If you choose to eat yourself into an early grave, you still you need to get off your ass and put your running shoes on once in a while. All personal biases aside, I’m hoping this series will show the viewers, many of whom are smack in the middle of their most vulnerable, self-conscious years, that with some commitment and hard work, you can do pretty much anything.

The Vice Guide to Everything, MTV — I’ve always been a little wary of Vice magazine. As a journalism student, magazines like Vice and XLR8R were always the ones my more-than-moderately obnoxious, immaculately-dissheveled hipster colleagues cited as their favorites, which was enough motivation for me to stay far, far away from them in the newsstand section of the campus bookstore. But I caught Vice co-founder Shane Smith on Conan last night, and was captivated by the few stories he was able to tell in the time alotted. Or what I could hear of his stories, anyway; he had a really quiet voice and something was off with his mic. I was able to hear him say Heavy Metal in Baghdad, an incredible documentary I caught on TV a few weeks ago while I was home sick, was a Vice project, and saw him present Conan (or “Mr. Rainbow”, as he’s apparently known on that side of the world) with a war-torn guitar from the boys in the band Baghdad was about. I guess I will take this opportunity to grudgingly admit that if Heavy Metal in Baghdad is any indication, The Vice Guide to Everything could be the feather in MTV’s documentary cap. (edit: apparently this one has already premiered and now I feel kind of stupid. Oops.)

And of course, we are on pins and needles waiting for the next installment of The Walking Dead, but that kind of goes without saying.

And that’s it for me! Here’s to 2011. Stay safe on New Year’s Eve, don’t drink and drive. Call a cab, take public transportation, call a friend or very cool and understanding parent, walk if you have to. Seriously. I mean this. Don’t be stupid. Those, I’ve found, are good words to live by in pretty much any situation.